Mystery Science Theater 3000
MST3k
In the not too distant future (next Sunday, A.D.) Joel Robinson was under the employ of one Dr. Clayton Forrester. By trapping Joel in space and sending him bad movies, Dr. Forrester and his assistants (such as TV's Frank) attempted to determine the movie that, when inflicted on the masses, would cause insanity and he could control the world. To combat this, Joel invented several robots to keep him company and to heckle the movies mercilessly to ensure his sanity. After several years, Joel escaped to be replaced by Mike Neslon, a temp worker without a clue. After Mike and the bots were turned into omniscient energy beings, they returned to the Satellite of Love (their ship) in the future and were confronted with new adversaries including Pearl Forrester (Dr. Forrester's cryo-frozen mother), Professor Bobo (an ape), and Observer (a super-intelligent alien that carries his brain in a bowl). Written by Joe Pranevich {[email protected]}
[Source: IMDB]
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis
K00 The Green Slime
1969, Color, Toei/MGM, Japan Never aired
(taped October 1988) Astronauts out to destroy a menacing asteroid must fight one-eyed tentacled creatures that have been brought aboard their spaceship.
Contrary to some reports, this is not a complete pilot episode for MST3K but merely a less than half-hour video produced to show programming executives the show concept and how the proposed series would run. It was never aired, but was shown at the 2008 DragonCon, with fan recordings disseminating soon afterwards, making this the earliest complete episode on the fan circuit.
K01 Invaders from the Deep
1981, Color, Incorporated Television Company (ITC), UK 1988-11-24 Movie version of Gerry & Sylvia Anderson's Supermarionation puppet series Stingray, about the eponymous super-submarine operated by the World Aquanaut Security Patrol (WASPs), fighting aquatic creatures who attempt to take over the planet.
The first episode ever aired. No fan copy is known to exist.
K02 Revenge of the Mysterons
(Captain Scarlet vs. the Mysterons)
1980, Color, Incorporated Television Company (ITC), UK 1988-11-24 Movie version of Gerry & Sylvia Anderson's Supermarionation puppet series Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, a space adventure about an international intelligence agency trying to save the earth from destruction by aliens.
Aired as part of a double-feature on the same Thanksgiving evening as K01. No fan copy is known to exist.
K03 Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2
1986, Color, Japan 1988-11-27 Starwolf Ken and the Bacchus 3 crew are on a mission to destroy a secret weapon.
No fan copy is known to exist.
K04 Gamera vs. Barugon
(Daikaijû kessen: Gamera tai Barugon)
1966, Japan 1988-12-04 A monster egg yields a lizard-like monster which fights Gamera. See 304 Gamera vs. Barugon for details.
This is the earliest aired episode to be found all at once by the fans in its entirety, in 1996.
K05 Gamera
(Daikaijû Gamera)
1966, Japan 1988-12-11 A nuclear explosion awakens an Arctic monster, which goes on a rampage but is befriended by a boy. See 302 Gamera for details.
K06 Gamera vs. Gaos
(Gamera tai Gyaosu)
1967, Japan 1988-12-18 Gamera fights a bat-like monster. See 308 Gamera vs. Gaos for details.
K07 Gamera vs. Zigra
(Gamera tai Shinkai kaijû Jigura)
1971, Japan 1988-12-31 Gamera fights a telekinetic shark-like alien. See 316 Gamera vs. Zigra for details.
In a segment before the film Joel states that this is their last Gamera Film, and is holding a Root beer Kegger on the S.O.L. because of that.
K08 Gamera vs. Guiron
(Gamera tai daikaijû Giron)
1969, Japan 1989-01-08 Gamera saves two boys from brain-eating aliens and a knife-headed monster. See 312 Gamera vs. Guiron for details.
An incomplete version of this episode had been circulating among the fans until 1998, when the next-to-last host segment and some of the movie commentary after it were finally found.
K09 Phase IV
1974, Color, Paramount 1989-01-15 Weird cosmological phenomena cause ants in Arizona to go on a rampage.
K10 Cosmic Princess
1976, edited 1982, Color, Group 3 Ltd, UK 1989-01-22 A re-edit of two Space: 1999 episodes, "The Metamorph" and "Space Warp". Moonbase Alpha encounters an evil scientist with phenomenal destructive powers and his shapeshifting daughter, who joins the Moonbase crew but later proves to be a danger to them.
K11 Humanoid Woman
(Cherez ternii k zvyozdam)
1981, Color, Maxim Gorky Filmstudio, USSR 1989-01-29 Astronauts probing an abandoned spaceship find a female clone whose planet is threatened by pollution and a dictatorship.
K12 Fugitive Alien
1978 or 1986, Japan 1989-02-05 Starwolf Ken casts his lot with the Earthling crew of Bacchus 3. See 310 Fugitive Alien for details.
K13 SST: Death Flight
1977, Color, ABC Circle Films 1989-02-19 A transatlantic SST has inflight problems thanks to "repairs" by a disgruntled engineer, and the plane is not allowed to make an emergency landing because of a flu virus carton that's been blown open. This 1977 made-for-TV disaster movie features an all-star cast.
K14 Mighty Jack
1968, prod. 1987, Japan 1989-03-05 Dubbed Japanese adventure show about top-secret organization "Mighty Jack" and their identically-named flying submarine. See 314 Mighty Jack for details.
K15 Superdome
1981, Color (TV), ABC Circle Films 1989-03-12 A terrorist threatens the Super Bowl in New Orleans. Features a parade of ex-football stars, and includes Tom Selleck as McCauley.
After an incomplete version was on the fan circuit for 8 years, the final host segment was found in 2003, making that segment the latest found segment from an aired episode to be released to the fan circuit. Only the unaired episode K00, which was camera-recorded (see above) was found afterward.
K16 City on Fire
1979, Color, Astral, Canada 1989-03-19 Disaster film centered on a hospital as an oil refinery explosion ignites an entire town. Stars include Shelley Winters as Andrea, Leslie Nielsen as the mayor, and Henry Fonda as the fire chief.
K17 Time of the Apes
1974, rel. 1987, Color, Tsuburaya Productions, Japan 1989-04-02 Dubbed Japanese movie about a woman and two kids taking refuge in cryogenic capsules, only to awake in a world populated by apes. See 306 Time of the Apes for details.
K18 The Million Eyes of Sumuru
1967, Color, AIP 1989-05-07 A female villain plans to take over the world. Stars Frankie Avalon as Tommy.
K19 Hangar 18
1980, Color, Taft International 1989-05-14 A Space Shuttle experiment accidentally kills an astronaut and downs a UFO, which is captured by the military and transferred to a hangar in West Texas for analysis. Eager to win re-election, the President keeps the UFO secret and casts blame at the surviving astronauts, who go on a quest to blow the lid on the coverup.
K20 The Last Chase
1981, Color, Crown International 1989-05-21 In a Mad Max-type future, America has no gas and an ex-racecar driver makes his way to California. Stars Lee Majors as Franklyn Hart.
K21 Legend of the Dinosaurs
(Kyôryuu: Kaichô no densetsu)
1977, Color, Toei Company Ltd, Japan 1989-05-28 Seismic activity around Mount Fuji awakens hibernating dinosaurs, who go on a rampage.
[edit] SEASON 1/Comedy Channel 1989-90
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis DVD Availability
101 The Crawling Eye
(The Trollenberg Terror)
(1958, B&W, DCA, England) 1989-11-28 A mutant extraterrestrial "eye" is ravaging the Swiss Alps. A U.N. troubleshooter (Forrest Tucker) and a scientist use a young psychic to aid their investigation.
102 The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
(La momia azteca contra el robot humano)
(1959, B&W, K. Gordon Murray, Mexico) 1989-12-05 (Short: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 1: "Moon Rocket") A mad scientist wants to steal a mummy's treasure, and builds a robot to handle the dirty deed. The short, the first of nine installments of Republic serial Radar Men from the Moon, introduces "Commando Cody", a scientist-hero who dons a bullet-shaped helmet and jet pack, when not flying his bullet-shaped spaceship, to thwart the evil plans of Moon Men and their cash-strapped criminal associates to take over the Earth.
103 The Mad Monster
(1942, B&W, PRC) 1989-12-12 (Short: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 2: "Molten Terror") A mad scientist experimenting with a concoction from wolf blood injects it into his assistant, who then turns into a werewolf. The assistant then is forced to silence the scientist's critics.
104 Women of the Prehistoric Planet
(1966, Color, Realart) 1990-02-20 A marooned spaceship on a strange planet leaves only a young boy as the survivor. The boy grows up into manhood, and when the rescue ship comes along he takes one of the rescue women as his companion. A riffed Planet of the Apes ending occurs when the departing rescue ship names the planet "Earth." Catchphrase: Hi Keeba! (used in later episodes when a character performed a martial arts move).
Despite its low production number, this episode was the last filmed and last aired of the season. [1] This is currently the lowest-numbered episode available on DVD from Rhino Home Video (although The Crawling Hand is actually the earliest broadcast and produced episode available from Rhino).
MST3K Collection, Volume 9
105 The Corpse Vanishes
(1942, B&W, Monogram) 1989-12-19 (Short: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 3: "Bridge of Death") Bela Lugosi plays a botanist who uses the blood of brides to create a youth potion for his elderly wife.
This is the oldest feature film to be MSTied.
106 The Crawling Hand
(1963, B&W, AIP) 1989-12-26 An astronaut's capsule crashes in the ocean and his severed hand (controlled by an unknown alien force) washes up on a beach, where it's found by a moody teen. Soon both are on respective rampages. Includes Alan Hale, Jr. (Skipper from Gilligan's Island) as the sheriff and Peter Breck (Nick Barkley from The Big Valley) as a NASA investigator.
This is currently the earliest broadcast episode available on DVD from Rhino Home Video (although Women of the Prehistoric Planet has a lower episode number).
Standalone DVD
107 Robot Monster
(1953, B&W [3-D], Astor) 1990-01-02 (Shorts: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 4: "Flight to Destruction"; Part 5: "Murder Car") A low-budget flick about the last days of Earth, featuring Ro-Man (the famous gorilla-in-a-diving-helmet icon of sci-fi B-movies). Catchphrase: To live like the hu-man, to be like the hu-man!
108 Slime People
(1964, B&W, Hansen Enterprises) 1990-01-09 (Short: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 6: "Hills of Death") Nuclear tests near Los Angeles awaken sleeping monsters, who head to the city.
109 Project Moon Base
(1953, B&W, Lippert) 1990-01-16 (Shorts: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 7: "Camouflaged Destruction"; Part 8: "The Enemy Planet") In the then-future of 1970, a space station deals with a communist spy who is sabotaging projects. Based on a Robert A. Heinlein story.
110 Robot Holocaust
(1986, Color, Tycill Entertainment) 1990-01-23 (Short: Radar Men from the Moon, Part 9: "Battle in the Stratosphere") In the future, a group of renegades fight to free mankind by battling the Dark One, the Room of Questions, the Vault of Beasts, and other menacing creations.
The short is interrupted in mid-episode, with the Mads claiming technical difficulties.
111 Moon Zero Two
(1969, Color, Hammer/Warner, England) 1990-01-30 On a colonized moon, a disaffected astronaut-turned-cargo hauler hooks up with woman who has come looking for her brother, a miner working a distant patch of moonscape.
112 Untamed Youth
(1957, B&W, Warner) 1990-02-06 Two hitchhiking sisters are sentenced to 30 days labor at a cotton farm run by the corrupt county government. Stars blonde bombshell Mamie Van Doren.
113 The Black Scorpion
(1957, B&W, Warner) 1990-02-13 Giant black scorpions emerge after a Mexican volcano eruption and go on a rampage. Final appearance of Josh Weinstein as Tom Servo and Dr. Laurence Erhardt.
[edit] SEASON 2/Comedy Channel 1990-91
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
201 Rocketship X-M
(1950, B&W, Lippert) 1990-09-22 A rocketship is accidentally diverted from the Moon to Mars, where the crew finds the ruins of a Martian civilization and a band of rogue survivors. Stars Lloyd Bridges (of Airplane! and Hot Shots fame) as Colonel Graham, and features Noah Beery, Jr. as Major Billy Corrigan.
First appearance of Frank Conniff. First appearance of Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo.
(none)
202 The Sidehackers
(Five the Hard Way)
(1969, Color, Crown International) 1990-09-29 Two motorcycle racers meet at a competition and become the victims of manipulation by a girlfriend who wants to change partners. The original film had a graphic rape and murder scene which shocked the writers, because no one had watched the entire film before the writing process had begun. In the episode the rape scene was cut and Crow simply tells the audience that the character is dead. Subsequently, all movies were seen in their entirety before being selected for the show. MST3K Collection, Volume 3
203 Jungle Goddess
(1948, B&W, Lippert) 1990-10-06 (Short: The Phantom Creeps, Part 1: "The Menacing Power") Two pilots set out to find a woman lost in remote Africa to gain a reward. They find her being worshiped by a native tribe. Stars George Reeves (from Adventures of Superman). Catchphrase: What I wouldn't give for a hamburger sandwich and some nice French-fried potatoes! The short is the first of several episodes of the 1939 serial The Phantom Creeps starring Bela Lugosi as a mad scientist bent on world domination.
204 Catalina Caper
(1967, Color, Crown International) 1990-10-13 Two college boys enjoy Catalina Island sunshine, scuba diving, and beach "bunnies", while another boy's con-artist parents scheme to sell a stolen scroll. Beach Party-style entertainment, starring Tommy Kirk and featuring Lyle Waggoner. Singers Little Richard, The Cascades, and Carol Connors provide musical diversions. MST3K Collection, Volume 1
205 Rocket Attack U.S.A.
(1961, B&W, Exploit Films) 1990-10-27 (Short: The Phantom Creeps, Part 2: "Death Stalks the Highway") The U.S. sends spies to the Soviet Union to discover imminent missile-attack plans, while trying to play catch-up with its own missile program. Features much Cold-War stock footage and propaganda.
This was the first episode to feature a "stinger" (a memorable scene from the film) at the end of the closing credits.
"Help me!"
206 Ring of Terror
(1962, B&W, Ashcroft) 1990-11-03 (Short: The Phantom Creeps, Part 3: "Crashing Timbers") A seemingly fearless college kid must steal a ring from a dead man to join a fraternity. Catchphrase: Puma? Puma!
The short follows the movie, rather than preceding it as was normally done on the series. This was also the last installment of the serial shown.
"Weird. I guess that is the word for it. Weird." MST3K Collection, Volume 11
207 Wild Rebels
(1967, Color, Crown International) 1990-11-17 A retired race car driver, talked into going undercover by the police, joins a biker gang and must serve as the getaway car driver. Catchphrase: Kicks! (None) MST3K Collection, Volume 9
208 Lost Continent
(1951, B&W, Lippert) 1990-11-24 An American military/science team searches for a downed rocket in a dinosaur-infested jungle at the top of a remote mountain. Stars Cesar Romero as Major Nolan and Hugh Beaumont (Leave It To Beaver) as Robert Phillips, and features very long scenes of dialog-sparse rock climbing. "Well, thanks for straightening the whole thing out..."
209 The Hellcats
(1968, Color, Crown International) 1990-12-08 After a cop is killed by a drug boss, his fiancée and his brother join a drug-running woman-led biker gang to uncover the boss's operation and get justice. Trumpet guy yells something unintelligible after being dunked. Standalone DVD
210 King Dinosaur
(1955, B&W, Lippert) 1990-12-22 (Short: X Marks the Spot) Two carefully chosen scientist couples investigate a mysterious new planet and are menaced by dinosaurs, created by the use of forced-perspective alligators, iguanas, and armadillos. The short reviews the vehicular misdeeds of an accident victim in Heaven's courtroom, New Jersey branch. Actor Edmon Ryan borrows everyday character Joe Doakes from Robert Benchley's comedic instructional shorts of the '30s and '40s for this highway morality tale, with George Mathews playing a guardian angel reminiscent of Clarence from It's a Wonderful Life. Gator wrestling aftermath.
211 First Spaceship on Venus
(Der Schweigende Stern)
(1959, Color, DEFA (GDR) /Iluzjon Filmunit, East Germany/Poland) 1990-12-29 A multinational team of astronauts heads to Venus but finds a world destroyed by nuclear war. Alphabet people waving goodbye. MST3K 20th Anniversary Edition
212 Godzilla vs. Megalon
(Gojira tai Megaro)
(1973, Color, Toho/Cinema Shares, Japan) 1991-01-19 Godzilla and robot superhero Jet Jaguar battle giant insect Megalon and alien monster Gigan, bent on razing the planet for an underground civilization. Godzilla doing a cannonball. MST3K Collection, Volume 10 (DISCONTINUED)
213 Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
(Gojira-Ebira-Mosura: Nankai no daiketto)
(1966, Color, AIP-TV/Toho-Continental, Japan) 1991-02-02 Godzilla battles Ebirah, a giant lobster being used by a terrorist organization. Also featuring Mothra. Features Hal Linden (TV's Barney Miller) as the English-dubbed voice of Yoshi, and Japanese singing duo Pair Bambi as "Mothra's Little Beauties". Islanders bow before Mothra.
[edit] SEASON 3/Comedy Central 1991-92
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
301 Cave Dwellers
(The Blade Master)
(1984, Color, Metaxa Film/New Line Cinema/Royal Film Traders, Italy/USA) 1991-06-01 Hero Ator (Miles O'Keeffe) helps a warrior woman rescue her father from an evil overlord. Catchphrase: No! No! "Thong! The fish is ready!" MST3K Collection, Volume 2
302 Gamera
(1965, B&W, Daiei, Japan) (Daikaijû Gamera) 1991-06-08 A military plane crashes in the Arctic, awakening giant turtle-monster Gamera. The monster heads to Japan and wreaks havoc, yet seemingly befriends a young misunderstood boy.
Also shown in experiment K05.
Eskimo: "Bye..."
303 Pod People
(Los nuevos extraterrestres)
(1984, Color) 1991-06-15 A child adopts a large egg which hatches into a mischievous alien, while a group of pop musicians on a wilderness vacation runs into trouble. Catchphrase: Trumpy! You can do magic things! "It stinks!" MST3K Collection, Volume 2
304 Gamera vs. Barugon
(Daikaijû kessen: Gamera tai Barugon)
(1966, Daiei/AIP-TV, Japan) 1991-06-22 A group of men collude to steal a giant jewel from an Asian jungle; the jewel is actually an egg, which hatches into giant lizard Barugon, who battles Gamera.
Also shown in experiment K04.
Crazed opal guy
305 Stranded in Space
(The Stranger)
(1973, Color (TV) (NBC), Bing Crosby Productions) 1991-06-29 A sci-fi TV pilot, about an astronaut who winds up on a totalitarian Earth look-alike and tries to return home. Stryker gets struck!
306 Time of the Apes
(Japan release 1974; USA release 1987; Color, Tsuburaya Productions, Japan) 1991-07-06 A woman and two children take refuge in cryogenic capsules, only to awake as fugitives in a world populated by apes.
Also shown in experiment K17.
"Johnny, don't go, it's too dangerous." "I don't care."
307 Daddy-O
(1959, B&W, Imperial AIP) 1991-07-13 (Short: Alphabet Antics) A drag-racing crooner (Dick Contino) investigates his friend's death and becomes a courier for drug dealers. The educational short takes viewers on a rhyming tour of the (Latin) alphabet. Soundtrack by John Williams. "Couldn't help ya if I wanted to, fella. Gym policy."
308 Gamera vs. Gaos
(Gamera tai Gyaosu)
(1967, Daiei/AIP-TV, Japan) 1991-07-20 Gamera fights a pterodactyl-like monster while local villagers fight a highway construction plan.
Also shown in experiment K06.
Comic relief guy gets scared.
309 The Amazing Colossal Man
(1957, B&W, AIP) 1991-07-27 A military officer is accidentally exposed to an atomic blast, turning him into a raving giant. Catchphrase: What sin could a man commit in a single lifetime... The colossal man laughs before wincing in pain. VHS Only
310 Fugitive Alien [1]
(Japan TV-series 1978; USA film 1986, Color, Sandy Frank/Tsuburaya, Japan) 1991-08-17 Movie constructed from two episodes of a Japanese television show. An alien marauder named Ken becomes a fugitive from his planet Valnar's Star, then joins the Earth spaceship Bacchus 3 to fight against his former masters. Catchphrase: AHAHAHAHAHA...You're stuck here! "AHAHAHAHA...You're STUCK HERE!"
311 It Conquered the World
(1956, B&W, AIP) 1991-08-24 (Short: Snow Thrills) With the help of a naive scientist (Lee Van Cleef), an alien from Venus invades Earth and attempts to turn humans into emotionless servants. The short is a newsreel featuring a wide variety of winter sports. "He learned too late that man is a feeling creature..."
312 Gamera vs. Guiron
(Gamera tai daikaijû Giron)
(1969, Daiei/AIP-TV, Japan) 1991-09-07 Female brain-eating aliens abduct two boys from Japan; Gamera attempts to rescue them, but must fight Guiron, a four-legged knife-headed monster. Features a cameo by Gaos (from Gamera vs. Gaos).
Also shown in experiment K08.
"What a monster!"
313 Earth vs. the Spider
(1958, B&W, AIP) 1991-09-21 (Short: Speech: Using Your Voice) Teenagers discover a giant spider, which rampages through a small town. The short offers the do's and don'ts of public speaking. Catchphrase: Plenty of lip and tongue action! Lip and tongue action, of a sort.
314 Mighty Jack
(1968, prod. 1987, Japan) 1991-09-28 A world-protecting organization and their flying submarine — both called "Mighty Jack" — fight the terrorist organization "Q". Movie constructed from the first and last episodes of a Japanese TV show.
Also shown in Experiment K14.
He died as he lived...loving his work.
315 Teenage Cave Man
(1958, B&W, AIP) 1991-11-09 (Shorts: Aquatic Wizards, Catching Trouble) In a prehistoric world, a teenager (Robert Vaughn) rails against the seemingly arbitrary laws of his caveman tribe to explore the forbidden world around him. Aquatic Wizards is a newsreel about water-skiing acrobatics. Catching Trouble, also a newsreel, features trapper Ross Allen demonstrating his prowess at catching animals in the Florida Everglades. Teenage Cave Man conks his head.
316 Gamera vs. Zigra
(Gamera tai Shinkai kaijû Jigura)
(1971, Color, Daiei, Japan) 1991-10-19 Gamera fights shark monster / spaceship Zigra who, with the help of a woman under his control, attempts to take over Earth from its polluting inhabitants. Catchphrase: I know!
Also shown in experiment K07.
An excerpt from "Fish Argument Theater."
317 Viking Women vs. the Sea Serpent
(The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent)
(1957, B&W, AIP) 1991-10-26 (Short: The Home Economics Story) Vikings' wives set sail to rescue their husbands, who are being held hostage by Grimolt warriors. Catchphrase: I'm a Grimaud warrior! In the 1951 short, four young women learn the value of home economics degrees. "But don't you understand? I'm a PRINCE!"
318 Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
(Japan TV-series 1978; USA film 1986, Color, Sandy Frank/Tsuburaya Productions, Japan) 1991-11-16 Sequel to Fugitive Alien (experiment 310). In this installment, Ken and the Bacchus 3 crew are ordered to destroy an alien superweapon, then move on to attack Valnar's Star itself.
Also shown in experiment K03.
Ken: "Captain, I've got it fixed. It's all working again."
319 War of the Colossal Beast
(1958, B&W and Color, AIP) 1991-11-30 (Short: Mr. B Natural) Sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man (experiment 309). Glenn Manning is found ravaging Mexico, looking for food. He is then captured and brought back to the States. The short, a fan favorite, is about a magical pixie who urges an adolescent boy to take up a musical instrument. Catchphrase: Knew your father, I did (among others) Mr. B Natural dancing.
320 The Unearthly
(1957, Republic, B&W) 1991-12-14 (Shorts: Posture Pals, Appreciating Our Parents) A surgeon (John Carradine) performs medical experiments on his patients at a remote sanitarium. Catchphrase: Time for go to bed! In Posture Pals, a foursome of elementary school kids improve their posture. In Appreciating Our Parents, a young boy learns to value his parents. "Time for go to bed!" MST3K Collection, Volume 3
321 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
(1964, Color, Embassy) 1991-12-21 In this children's movie, Martians abduct Santa and two children in hopes of bringing Christmas to their planet. Catchphrase: You're the laziest man on Mars! Bad Martian's derisive laughter. The Essentials
322 Master Ninja I
(1978, 1984, Color (TV), Film Ventures International) 1992-01-11 TV show The Master cut together into a series of movies. An American ninja (Lee Van Cleef) searches for his long-lost daughter with the help of a sidekick (Tim Van Patten). In this installment, they defend an airport owner from businessmen and a corrupt sheriff, then defend a nightclub owner from thugs. "To them it's some kind of ritual."
323 The Castle of Fu Manchu
(Die Folterkammer des Dr. Fu Man Chu)
(1968, International Cinema, Germany/Spain/Italy/England) 1992-01-18 The evil Doctor Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) threatens to freeze the Earth's oceans, and abducts a talented scientist with heart problems. Monkey pile on the castle guard!
324 Master Ninja II
(1978, 1984, Color (TV), Film Ventures International) 1992-01-25 Sequel to Master Ninja I (experiment 322). In this installment, the protagonists help a tuna cannery union organizer, and save a Senator's daughter from terrorists. Lee with hamster.
[edit] SEASON 4/Comedy Central 1992-93
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
401 Space Travelers
(Marooned)
(1969, Color, Columbia, Repackaged) 1992-06-06 Various obstacles hamper attempts to rescue three NASA astronauts trapped aboard a crippled space capsule. This, the only MST3K'd film to win an Academy Award, features big names like Gregory Peck, Gene Hackman, and David Janssen, and is the last film Frank Capra worked on. This severely edited version of Marooned was chosen because of its lack of action and the fact that Columbia forgot to renew the copyright for a short period of time. Hackman, demonstrating he's good in anything.
402 The Giant Gila Monster
(1959, B&W, McLendon Radio Pictures) 1992-06-13 A 30-foot killer lizard is loose in the woods near a bumbling town full of rowdy, dancin', hot-roddin' teens.Catchphrase: I sing whenever I sing whenever I sing... Old guy gags on sody pop. MST3K Collection, Volume 10.2
403 City Limits
(1985, Color, Showtime) 1992-06-20 In a bleak future, a teen rides his motorcycle into an abandoned city and gets involved in a gang dispute that centers on taking the city back from an evil corporation. Kim Cattrall is featured in this film, and during the intermission segments Crow professes his love for her. James Earl Jones also has a small part. Catchphrase: I told you to find trouble, not bring it home with you! Tiny radio controlled death from on high.
404 Teenagers from Outer Space
(1959, B&W, Warner) 1992-06-27 A group of aliens (all played by actors considerably older than teenagers) land on Earth and decide to use the planet as a farm for their livestock, which greatly resembles a giant lobster. One of the aliens rebels and flees to a small town, and is pursued by another alien who kills anyone in his path. "When we return to our planet, the high council may well sentence you to TORTCHA!" MST3K Collection, Volume 6
405 Being from Another Planet
(Time Walker)
(1982, Color, New World) 1992-07-04 In early-'80s California, a mummy found in King Tut's tomb is X-rayed by a university team. The radiation awakens the mummy. It escapes that night and creeps around campus for the next couple of days looking for five missing crystals that were pilfered by a student. The heartbreak of extraterrestrial psoriasis.
406 Attack of the Giant Leeches
(1959, B&W, AIP) 1992-07-18 (Short: Undersea Kingdom, Part 1: "Beneath the Ocean Floor") Folks begin vanishing near a Florida swamp, and a game warden discovers the culprits are mutant leeches. The short is the first segment of a 1936 movie serial about a group of Navy men who discover Atlantis. Billy from Undersea Kingdom excitedly watches a wrestling match. MST3K Collection, Volume 6
407 The Killer Shrews
(1959, B&W, McLendon Radio Pictures) 1992-07-25 (Short: Junior Rodeo Daredevils) A hunky skipper makes a delivery to a small island, and learns that the inhabitants include heavy-drinking scientists doing genetic experiments resulting in a pack of omnivorous giant shrews (dogs with attached accessories). In the short, old-timer Billy Slater, a cowpoke, straightens out some wayward kids by making them put on a small-time rodeo. "Any unusual experiments can produce unusual results." MST3K Collection, Volume 7
408 Hercules Unchained
(Ercole e la regina di Lidia)
(1959, Color, Warner, Italy) 1992-08-01 Queen Lidia casts a spell of amnesia on Hercules, who becomes a prisoner in her harem. The queen recalls Hercules. MST3K Collection, Volume 7
409 Indestructible Man
(1956, B&W, Allied Artists) 1992-08-15 (Short: Undersea Kingdom, Part 2: "The Undersea City") A convict dies in the electric chair and is brought back to life by mad scientists. He then sets out to get even with those who squealed on him. Stars Lon Chaney, Jr. as "Butcher" Benton. This episode features the second of the two installments shown from the 12-part Undersea Kingdom serial. The title character staggers into a power plant. MST3K Collection, Volume 11
410 Hercules Against The Moon Men
(Maciste e la regina di Samar)
(1964, Color, Governor (Italy/France)) 1992-08-22 Hercules battles a cult of Moon Men who live in a mountain and are trying to bring their queen back to life. Notable for a scene the Mads describe as "DEEP HURTING!" in which Hercules wanders through an endless sandstorm. Old guy gets skewered. MST3K Collection, Volume 7
411 The Magic Sword
(1962, Color, United) 1992-08-29 Sword-and-sorcery film about a prince rescuing a princess from an evil magician (Basil Rathbone). Estelle's two-headed assistant.
412 Hercules and the Captive Women
(Ercole alla conquista di Atlantide)
(1961, Color, Wooler Bros (France/Italy)) 1992-09-12 Hercules goes to Atlantis to save his son. "Hercules! Help me!"
413 Manhunt in Space
(1954, B&W, ITC) 1992-09-19 (Short: General Hospital, first installment) Edited-together episodes of the 1950s TV series Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. Rocky Jones, battling alongside his idiot pal "Winky" and using invisibility circuits to hide his spaceship, fights evil Queen Cleolanta and her lieutenant Atlansan. The short is the first of three brief 1963 segments from the soap opera General Hospital featured on the series. Space traitor tosses a chair.
414 Tormented
(1960, B&W, Cheviot Productions) 1992-09-26 A jazz pianist living at a beachfront community pushes his troublesome mistress off a lighthouse. Her ghost comes to haunt him and disrupt his upcoming nuptials, as his 8-year-old future sister-in-law grows suspicious. "Tom Stewart killed me! Tom Stewart killed me!" MST3K Collection, Volume 11
415 The Beatniks
(1960, B&W, Barjul) 1992-11-25 (Short: General Hospital, second installment) A leader of a gang of delinquent teens is heard singing along with a jukebox at a greasy spoon and gets the chance to be a star. His gang, resentful of his success, threaten to ruin his career. The General Hospital installment involves a ridiculously tense celebration at a nurse's house. Catchphrase: I killed that fat barkeep! Moon gets hysterical.
416 Fire Maidens of Outer Space
(1956, B&W, Topaz (England)) 1992-11-26 Astronauts travel to a moon of Jupiter and discover a civilization of women. The astronauts help the women battle a monster that has been terrorizing their settlement. The hero tosses a cup at a wall and discovers a hidden passage.
417 Crash Of Moons
(1954, B&W, ITC) 1992-11-28 (Short: General Hospital, third installment) Edited-together episodes of the '50s TV series Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. Our hero tries to save two worlds from collision, despite the self-defeating efforts of Cleolanta. Watch for Hogan's Heroes star John Banner. The short is the third of three 1963 segments from the soap opera General Hospital. "Boopie!"
418 Attack of the Eye Creatures
(The Eye Creatures)
(1965, Color, AIP) 1992-12-05 Aliens land near a small town and are encountered by a pair of smoochin' teens. While military personnel investigate, the kids band together to fight back against the invasion. Listen for the voice of Peter Graves narrating an Air Force briefing film. A made-for-TV remake of 1957's "Invasion of the Saucermen," it was originally titled "The Eye Creatures" then retitled "Attack of the the Eye Creatures." Greasy drifter in sweater dress on phone.
419 The Rebel Set
(1959, B&W, Allied) 1992-12-12 (Short: Johnny at the Fair) A coffeehouse owner (Edward Platt, the Chief from Get Smart) wants to knock off an armored car, and gets three losers to help him. The short, set at the 1947 Canadian National Exhibition, focuses on the explorations of young visitor Johnny, after his parents lose track of him. "I am bugged!" MST3K Collection, Volume 12
420 The Human Duplicators
(1965, Color, Woolner/Allied) 1992-12-26 A tall alien (Richard Kiel, Bond villain "Jaws") takes over a professor's mansion-basement laboratory to make human clones to infiltrate the government. Includes Hugh Beaumont (TV's Leave It To Beaver father) as crabby FBI chief Austin Welles. Duplicates cracking up as they choke each other.
421 Monster A Go Go
(1965, B&W, BI&L) 1993-01-09 (Short: Circus on Ice) An irradiated astronaut returns to Earth as a giant mutant, and a search for him ensues. The short offers a look at the 40th Annual Carnival of the Toronto Skating Club. Catchphrase: But there was no monster... The monster walking around. MST3K Collection, Volume 8
422 The Day The Earth Froze
(Sampo)
(1959, Color, Mosfilm/Suomi-Filmi/AIP, Finland/USSR) 1993-01-16 (Short: Here Comes the Circus) Nordic fantasy tale, based loosely on the Kalevala, about a wicked witch's schemes to get, and later regain, a magic mill. The short is a look at the Clyde Beatty circus, featuring legendary clown Emmett Kelly. "What's going to happen to us now?"
423 Bride of the Monster
(1956, B&W, Banner) 1993-01-23 (Short: Hired!, Part 1) Mad scientist Dr. Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi) lives in a remote swampy area and creates supermen in his lab with the help of his mutant assistant Lobo (Tor Johnson). He takes revenge on his critic, performs Frankenstein experiments on intruders, and feeds his enemies to a pond-dwelling octopus. Written and directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. Catchphrase: He tampered in God's domain! In the 1941 short, a Chevrolet sales manager wonders why his team is having trouble selling their product door-to-door. Bela has looked better.
424 Manos: The Hands of Fate
(1966, Color, Emerson) 1993-01-30 (Short: Hired!, Part 2) A hapless family on a car trip in rural Texas take refuge at an inn run on behalf of The Master by the satyr Torgo, harboring a deadly cult. Widely considered to be one of the worst films ever made, and considered by fans to be one of the best episodes ever. Watch for all the wives in what is called a "gentle rumble". Catchphrase: "I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away". In the conclusion of a two-part short, our sales manager hero gets advice from his handkerchief-wearing dad. "Why don't you guys leave us alone?" Standalone DVD, or "Essentials"
[edit] SEASON 5/Comedy Central 1993-94
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
501 Warrior of the Lost World
(1983, Color, Visto International, Italy) 1993-07-24 A nameless hero (Robert Ginty) and his talking motorcycle fight an evil dictator (Donald Pleasence) in a post-apocalyptic world. The Paper Chase guy checking out the babe.
502 Hercules
(Le fatiche di Ercole)
(1957, Color, Embassy, Italy) 1993-07-17 Hercules searches for the Golden Fleece. "He's like something out of a bad dream!"
503 Swamp Diamonds
(Swamp Women)
(1956, Color, Woolner) 1993-07-31 (Short: What to Do on a Date) Four women (including Beverly Garland) break out of prison, hoping to recover a cache of stolen diamonds. In the 1951 short, young Nick hopes to ask schoolmate Kay for a date but can't think of a venue. Also starring Mike Connors, billed as "Touch" Connors. "Ssssssssshut up!" MST3K Collection, Volume 10
504 Secret Agent Super Dragon
(New York chiama Superdrago)
(1966, United Screen Arts, France/Italy/Germany) 1993-08-07 A CIA agent battles a Venezuelan crime lord bent on poisoning the U.S. with an exotic mind-altering drug. A henchman gets the jump on our hero, with xylophone accompaniment. MST3K Collection, Volume 12
505 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
(Sadko)
(1952, Color, Filmgroup, USSR) 1993-08-14 A seagoing adventurer tries to find the bird of happiness to cheer up a destitute town. Laughing horse.
506 Eegah
(1962, Color, Fairway International) 1993-08-28 A giant caveman (Richard Kiel) stumbles across modern civilization, then kidnaps a teenage girl and her father. Catchphrase: "Watch out for snakes!" "Fake it." "That's what I've BEEN doing. Now I'm getting sick!" Standalone DVD
507 I Accuse My Parents
(1944, B&W, Producers Releasing Corp) 1993-09-04 (Short: The Truck Farmer) A young man gets mixed up with a crime syndicate and blames his inattentive parents. The 1940s-era documentary short explains the then-new techniques that enabled farmers to rush produce to market. "What? What's so funny?" Standalone DVD
508 Operation Double 007
(OK Connery)
(1967, Color, United Artists, Italy) 1993-09-11 A plastic surgeon (played by Sean Connery's brother Neil Connery), who is himself the brother of a secret agent, combats evil villain Thair Beta (Adolfo Celi). Co-stars actors Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell from the genuine Bond series of movies. "Thunderball" pushes the button.
509 The Girl in Lovers Lane
(1960, B&W, Filmgroup) 1993-09-18 Drifters Bix Dugan and Danny become involved with life of a small town. "Are you waiting for a bus?"
510 The Painted Hills
(1951, Color, MGM) 1993-09-26 (Short: Body Care and Grooming) A Lassie movie, set in 1870s California amongst rival gold miners. The 1950s-era short addresses a perceived deficiency in college-student hygiene. Naughty girl goes into the shower.
511 Gunslinger
(1956, Color, AIP) 1993-10-09 After her sheriff husband is killed by outlaws, a woman (Beverly Garland) takes over as sheriff and cleans up the town. "What about our clothes?" MST3K Collection, Volume 6
512 Mitchell
(1975, Color, Allied Artists) 1993-10-23 A slovenly cop (Joe Don Baker) pursues drug traffickers.
Joel Hodgson's last episode.
"You're lying through your teeth!" "Buzz off." "Buzz off!" "BUZZ OFF, KID!" Standalone DVD
513 The Brain That Wouldn't Die
(1959, B&W, AIP) 1993-10-30 When a doctor's fiancee is decapitated, he keeps her head alive in a laboratory and tries to find her a new body.
Michael J. Nelson's first episode as the central character.
"Who's to tell me to blow if I don't want to?" Standalone DVD
514 Teen-age Strangler
(1964, Color, Ajay) 1993-11-07 (Short: Is This Love?) A serial murderer stalks teenagers in a small town. The 1950s short looks at two college couples: one rushing into marriage, the other taking their time. "And he didn't steal no bike neither! I did!" MST3K Collection, Volume 10
515 The Wild Wild World of Batwoman
(1966, B&W, ADP Productions) 1993-11-13 (Short: Cheating) Revealingly-clad crimefighter Batwoman and her loyal young female assistants battle villains Ratfink and Professor Neon. Watch for a scene with multiple Ratfinks running around his lab. The 1951 short chronicles the downfall of a high school student caught copying his test answers from another student. Guy gets bitten on the hand by a "bat girl". Standalone DVD
516 Alien from L.A.
(1987, Color, Cannon/Golan-Globus) 1993-11-20 A clumsy California woman (Kathy Ireland) looks for her father in the lost underground civilization of Atlantis. "Yuck!"
517 Beginning of the End
(1957, B&W, Republic) 1993-11-25 A government researcher (Peter Graves) experiments with radioactive materials to boost crop production, and inadvertently creates a hungry army of giant grasshoppers. "Alright, men. Into the woods!" Standalone DVD (Out Of Print)
518 The Atomic Brain
(Monstrosity)
(1963, B&W, Emerson) 1993-12-04 (Short: What about Juvenile Delinquency?) A wealthy, aging widow wants to transplant her brain into the body of a young woman. The 1955 short focuses on gang member Jamie, who realizes the dangers of delinquency when his dad is mugged and beaten. Anita screams. MST3K Collection, Volume 3
519 Outlaw
(Outlaw of Gor)
(1987, Color, Cannon Group/Breton Film Productions) 1993-12-11 College professor Cabot returns to the magical planet Gor, and is soon caught up in palace intrigue involving evil sorcerer Xenos (Jack Palance). Based on the Gor series of novels. "Get out of here, you disGUSting WOORRRRRM!"
520 Radar Secret Service
(1950, B&W, Lippert) 1993-12-18 (Short: Last Clear Chance) A branch of the Secret Service uses radar to track down uranium smugglers. The 1959 educational short, produced by Union Pacific Railroad, teaches drivers to pay better attention when crossing railroad tracks. Catchphrase: Why don't they look? Hysterical maid
521 Santa Claus
(1959, Color, Azteca, Mexico) 1993-12-24 In this Mexican movie, the devil Pitch schemes to foil Santa Claus at every turn. Laughing mechanical reindeer.
522 Teen-Age Crime Wave
(1955, B&W, Columbia) 1994-01-15 After breaking out of prison, young fugitives hold a family hostage in a small farmhouse. Catchphrase: He'd never touch you, Terry. You're dirt. "TURN IT OFF!"
523 Village of the Giants
(1965, Color, Columbia) 1994-01-22 A gang of teenagers (led by Beau Bridges) eat an experimental chemical (brewed by Ron Howard) which turns them into giants, and they become the capricious rulers of a small town. Based loosely on Food Of The Gods by H.G. Wells. Tribute to Frank Zappa
524 12 To The Moon[2]
(1960, B&W, Columbia) 1994-02-05 (Short: Design for Dreaming) A multinational expedition to Earth's moon discovers advanced beings who want no contact with humanity. . "Ahh, ridiculous!"
[edit] SEASON 6/Comedy Central 1994-95
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
601 Girls Town
(1959, B&W, MGM) 1994-07-16 A mysterious death lands a teenage girl in a reform school headed by good-hearted nuns, but the girl's sister is in trouble. Includes Mamie Van Doren as Silver, Mel Tormé as Fred, and Paul Anka as crooner Jimmy. "You tell that boy to go home right now, or I'll call the police!"
602 Invasion U.S.A.
(1952, B&W, Columbia) 1994-07-23 (Short: A Date with Your Family) Cautionary tale of a group of ordinary Americans facing the consequences of failing to support their government in fighting Communism, when the Soviets invade the mainland. The 1950 short presents a typical dinner at home for a rigidly polite suburban family. Couple stares at each other as a paper boy cries out: "Extra! Paper! America invaded! Read all about it!"
603 The Dead Talk Back
(created 1957 but released first 1993, B&W, Headliner Productions) 1994-07-30 (Short: The Selling Wizard) A paranormal researcher claims he has invented a radio that can talk with the dead, which he uses to aid in the investigation of a murder committed at his boarding-house residence. Catchphrase: Oh, it's true! The short is an industrial number showcasing the attributes of grocery store refrigeration units. Woman screams after seeing dead body. MST3K Collection, Volume 8
604 Zombie Nightmare
(1986, Color, Gold-Gems) 1994-11-24 A hit and run victim is brought back from the dead by a voodoo doctor, and then seeks revenge. Stars Adam West (Batman) as police captain Churchman. Voodoo priestess finishes incantation and the zombie screams.
605 Colossus and the Headhunters
(Maciste contro i cacciatori di teste)
(1960, Color, American International) 1994-08-20 A Greek hero's men battle a tribe of savages who have abducted a king. Guy gets shot by arrow.
606 The Creeping Terror
(1964, B&W, Crown International) 1994-09-17 A carpeted, bloblike monster goes on a rampage. Its near-total absence of dialogue was a result of director Art Nelson accidentally ruining the sound equipment while filming at Lake Tahoe, Nevada, so he later narrated the entire film in post-production. "My God! What is it?" MST3K Collection, Volume 1
607 Bloodlust!
(1959, B&W, Crown International) 1994-09-03 (Short: Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm) A mad game hunter traps "youths" on his island to add to his trophy collection. This version of The Most Dangerous Game includes Robert Reed as Johnny. The short presents the adventures of a pair of city kids spending their summer at a dairy farm. A man is shot in the stomach with an arrow and screams in agony. MST3K Collection, Volume 1
608 Code Name: Diamond Head
(1977, Color (TV) (NBC), Quinn Martin) 1994-10-01 (Short: A Day at the Fair) A failed Quinn Martin TV pilot follows an undercover agent battling a foreign villain in Hawaii. The short follows a farm family at the county fair. "Aaaahhh! Johnny! Down there!"
609 The Skydivers
(1963, B&W, Crown International) 1994-08-27 (Short: Why Study Industrial Arts?) This Coleman Francis film is set at a tiny airfield in a small California town where married couple Harry and Beth run a jump school. The husband rebukes his old girlfriend, Suzy, who hooks up with his fired mechanic Frankie to seek revenge. Cameo by Nashville steel guitar legend Jimmy Bryant. Catchphrase: Coffee? I like coffee! The 1956 short explains why boys should take shop class even if they think they'll never need it. "I don't know. I feel real free up there in the high blue sky." MST3K Collection, Volume 1
610 The Violent Years
(1956, B&W, Headliner Productions) 1994-10-08 (Short: A Young Man's Fancy) Delinquent girls go on a crime spree in this movie written by Edward D. Wood, Jr. The short, sponsored by the Edison Electric Institute, presents a typical day in a suburban family where electricity not only makes life easier, but allows a teeny bopper to ensnare her brother's college friend with her feigned ignorance of appliances. "So what?"
611 Last of the Wild Horses
(1948, B&W, Lippert) 1994-10-15 A cowboy stops some cattle rustlers and gets framed for murder. Stars Mary Beth Hughes (#507, I Accuse My Parents) as Terry. The host segments parodied the Star Trek episode "Mirror, Mirror" and the first part of the episode actually has Frank and Forrester in the theater riffing on the movie. Wheelchair Dad laughs.
612 The Starfighters
(1964, Color, Riviera) 1994-10-29 An Air Force F-104 pilot is trying to become a hot shot, but his father, a congressman, wants him out. This starred future Congressman Robert K. Dornan. The Starfighters Theme is frequently hummed in later movies featuring airplanes. Lt. Lyons is elbowed in the stomach by his wife. MST3K Collection, Volume 12
613 The Sinister Urge
(1959, B&W, Headliner) 1994-11-05 (Short: Keeping Clean and Neat) Cops try to shut down a porn ring in this story written and directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. The 1956 short encourages children to believe that social acceptance is gained largely through close attention to fashion and meticulous hygiene. "Dirk? No that can't be Dirk...uh, uh...no...that's not Dirk...no." MST3K Collection, Volume 9
614 San Francisco International
(1970, Color, Universal) 1994-11-19 This pilot for the TV series San Francisco International Airport details the hijackings, kidnappings, and marital problems that plague the airport manager. Features a large cast of '70s TV-movie actors headed by Pernell Roberts. "My job, my way."
615 Kitten with a Whip
(1964, B&W, Universal) 1994-11-23 While running for Senator, a soft-hearted man (John Forsythe) finds himself alternately cajoled and blackmailed into helping Jody (Ann-Margret), a young woman who has broken out of a reform school, and her "friends". "I'll be a celebrity! And so will you!"
616 Racket Girls
(1951, B&W, Globe Roadshows) 1994-11-26 (Short: Are You Ready for Marriage?) A sleazy gym owner gets into trouble, becoming the target of the mob and the law. Primarily a vehicle for 1950s women's wrestling stars. The 1950 short presents a high school couple rushing into marriage, and the marriage counsellor who talks them out of it. SNAP! "It's gone!" "Where'd it go?"
617 The Sword and the Dragon
(Ilya Muromets)
(1956, Color, Mosfilm, USSR) 1994-12-03 Barbarians attack Russia in the 1200s, but a valiant man fends off the hordes with wisdom. The wind demon takes a dive.
618 High School Big Shot
(1953, B&W, Filmgroup) 1994-12-10 (Short: Out of This World) A high school dweeb plans a heist to win the favor of a pretty classmate. The short aims at keeping bread truck drivers on the straight and narrow. "A million bucks!"
619 Red Zone Cuba
(Night Train to Mundo Fine)
(1966, B&W, Hollywood Star) 1994-12-17 (Short: Speech: Platform, Posture, and Appearance) Another Coleman Francis film in which an escaped criminal stumbles upon a desolate Army post, takes part in the Bay of Pigs invasion, then goes in search of ore. Francis takes a lead role. John Carradine sings the title song and appears briefly. Catchphrase: I'm Cherokee Jack! The short offers advice for public speakers, including how to "make knee test." A blind lady plays the piano. Standalone DVD
620 Danger!! Death Ray
(Il raggio infernale)
(1967, Color, Leda Films/Meteor Film, Spain/Italy) 1995-01-07 Agent Bart Fargo must save a stolen Death Ray and its captured scientist from an evil organization. Dropping watch into swimming pool.
621 The Beast of Yucca Flats
(1961, B&W, Crown International) 1995-01-21 (Shorts: Money Talks, Progress Island USA) A defecting Russian scientist turns into a monster after being caught in an atomic bomb explosion and wanders around the test range, killing various people. Includes Tor Johnson as the beast. Directed by Coleman Francis, who narrates the film. Shorts include Money Talks, a 1955 outing about the importance of a budget, and Progress Island USA, a brassy 1973 film meant to lure investors to Puerto Rico. The beast throws a rock and yells in rage.
622 Angels Revenge
(Angels' Brigade)
(1979, Color, Arista) 1995-03-11 A really bad copycat of Charlie's Angels. Six women fight a drug dealer. Includes Jim Backus as Commander March, Jack Palance as Farrell, Alan Hale, Jr. (Skipper from Gilligan's Island) as Manny, Pat Buttram (Mr. Haney from Green Acres) as a used car dealer, and a cameo by Arthur Godfrey. Part of the "Shine your love!" performance. MST3K Collection, Volume 2
623 The Amazing Transparent Man
(1960, B&W, AIP) 1995-03-18 (Short: The Days of Our Years) A mad scientist gives a convict the power of invisibility, who then uses it to rob a bank. The 1955 Union Pacific Railroad-sponsored short uses a minister to urge its workers to stop getting injured on the job while the railroad "does everything in its power to prevent accidents". Petting the invisible guinea pig.
624 Samson vs. the Vampire Woman
(El Santo contras las mujeres vampiro)
(1961, B&W, AIP-TV, Mexico) 1995-03-25 Masked wrestler El Santo battles vampire women who want to capture a young woman destined to become their queen.
Frank Conniff's last episode.
"Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden."
[edit] Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Ep. # Featured Film Release Date Synopsis
M01 This Island Earth
(1955, Color, Universal International Pictures) 1996-04-19 An atomic scientist is invited to collaborate with other scientists on a mysterious project that has interplanetary consequences. Catchphrase: Welcome, Dr. Meachum!
Though filmed before work began on season 7, MST3K: The Movie started a limited theater run between Escape 2000 (705) and Laserblast (706). The host segments are arranged and executed somewhat differently for this "episode". Mike and the Bots riff on their own movie's credits at the end.
[edit] SEASON 7/Comedy Central 1995-96
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
701 Night of the Blood Beast
(1958, B&W, AIP) 1996-02-03 (Short: Once Upon A Honeymoon) An astronaut survives the crash of his capsule, only to learn he has been taken over by an alien. Catch phrase: "Steve?" In the musical short, a woman dreams of redecorating her house with phones.
701T, which features alternate Thanksgiving-themed host segments, was aired only twice. It premiered on Thanksgiving Day (1995-11-23) at the end of the Turkey Day marathon. The commentary on the film and short are the same as 701.
"Wounded animal that large isn't good."
702 The Brute Man
(1946, B&W, PRC) 1996-02-10 (Short: The Chicken of Tomorrow) Rondo Hatton stars as a disfigured man who takes revenge on the college pals he believes caused his condition. Catchphrase: What's the matter, don't you like it? The short is a documentary-style examination of chicken farming. "Creeper, Creeper, Creeper... YOU give ME the creeps!"
703 Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
(Deathstalker III: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell)
(1988, Color, New) 1996-02-17 The medieval adventures of a sardonic hero, on a quest for three magical stones, who battles the evil sorcerer Troxartes, ruler of Southland. Catchphrase: You always were a good judge of men, Deathstalker! "Potatoes are what we eat."
704 The Incredible Melting Man
(1977, Color, AIP) 1996-02-24 An astronaut is exposed to radiation and turns into a mindless, violent, melting monster. "Let's get the hell out of here!"
705 Escape 2000
(Fuga dal Bronx)
(1981, Color, FGH/Filmco Ltd/Hemdale, Australia) 1996-03-02 An evil corporation wants to raze and rebuild the Bronx, and secretly attempts to kill its obstinate residents. A band of rebels fights back. Catchphrase: Leave the Bronx! "PTOO!" "HA, HA, HA!" sez Toblerone.
706 Laserblast
(1978, Color, Selected Pictures) 1996-05-18 A teenager discovers a laser weapon left behind by turtle-like aliens. He uses it for petty revenge, but the weapon slowly changes his personality. The movie features Roddy McDowall as a doctor and Eddie Deezen.
This movie has the same opening theme as Robot Holocaust, just in an altered key. Trace Beaulieu's final episode.
"Faaar out!" MST3K 20th Anniversary Edition
[edit] SEASON 8/Sci-Fi Channel 1996-97
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
801 Revenge of the Creature
(1955, B&W [3-D], Universal) 1997-02-01 The first sequel to Creature from the Black Lagoon, in which the creature is at last captured and taken to a Florida aquarium for "study." Watch for Clint Eastwood (at age 24) as a lab technician. The Ocean Harbor area was actually Florida's Marineland Aquarium at St. Augustine.
Bill Corbett's first episode as Crow T. Robot.
John Agar wiggles his body while swimming.
802 The Leech Woman
(1960, B&W, Universal) 1997-02-08 An alcoholic middle-aged woman discovers the secret to renewed (albeit temporary) youth from an African tribe. She steals the tools used in the ritual and returns to America, killing young men to maintain her youth. Catch phrase: Jed! The wily cop outwits his suspect.
803 The Mole People
(1956, B&W, Universal) 1997-02-15 Explorers find a lost civilization underground. Music by Henry Mancini (Pink Panther theme). "The Load" hits the wall.
804 The Deadly Mantis
(1957, B&W, Universal) 1997-02-22 An Arctic earthquake causes a monstrous praying mantis to invade Washington DC and New York. The smarmy corporal out Donny Most-ing.
805 The Thing That Couldn't Die
(1958, B&W, Universal) 1997-03-01 An evil severed head wreaks chaos at a ranch.
Episodes 805-807 featured the Observers holding their brains up (a play on "A Best Brains Production") as the stinger.
The Observers holding their brains up.
806 The Undead
(1956, B&W, AIP) 1997-03-08 A hypnotist and "psychical researcher" sends a prostitute back to the 15th century to live a previous life as a woman falsely accused of witchcraft, then follows her back to change the past. Catchphrase: STAY! The Observers holding their brains up.
807 Terror from the Year 5000
(1958, B&W, AIP) 1997-03-15 A time machine brings back a woman (Salome Jens) from 5200 A.D. who wants to take males to the future. She uses hypnosis to get her way. Outdoor shots filmed in and around Dade County, Florida. The Observers holding their brains up.
808 The She-Creature
(1956, B&W, AIP) 1997-04-05 A carnival mesmerist uses hypnosis on a woman to summon the spirit of a murderous female sea creature. Lance Fuller (This Island Earth) plays the mesmerist's scientist opponent. Catch phrase: Sleep! Bobo investigates a planet...closely.
809 I Was a Teenage Werewolf
(1957, B&W, AIP) 1997-04-19 Michael Landon (at age 20) plays the high school kid who sporadically becomes a werewolf. "People bug me, too!" (Movie stingers return.)
810 The Giant Spider Invasion
(1975, Cinema Group 75) 1997-05-31 Mutant spider eggs land in Wisconsin, via meteor. Alan Hale, Jr. (Skipper from Gilligan's Island) plays the sheriff. Catchphrase: Hittin' the booze again! Pthpthpthp! MST3K Collection, Volume 10
811 Parts: The Clonus Horror
(1979, Color, Clonus Associates) 1997-06-07 In an isolated community set in a remote desert area, clones are being bred to serve as a source of replacement organs for the wealthy and powerful. Produced by Walter Fiveson. Stars Dick Sargent (Darrin Stephens #2 from Bewitched) as the laboratory director and Peter Graves as a politician. "Sure!!" MST3K Collection, Volume 12
812 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
(1964, Color, Fairway) 1997-06-14 A couple of slackers stumble across a cult of monsters at an early-'60s carnival. Stars "Cash Flagg" (a pseudonym for the film's director, Ray Dennis Steckler) as Jerry. Shot with a $38,000 budget. Catchphrase: You feelthy peeg! "What do you think we came here for...to eat?" MST3K Collection, Volume 9
813 Jack Frost
(Morozko)
(1966, Color, Gorky Film Studios, USSR) 1997-07-12 A pretty young woman is forced to slave away, while a young boy with the head of a bear must perform a good deed to reverse the curse. "Bring on my fiancé!"
814 Riding with Death
(1976, Color, Universal TV) 1997-07-19 TV-movie version of short-lived series Gemini Man. INTERSECT agent Sam Casey (Ben Murphy), who can turn invisible at will, safeguards a super fuel additive and then tackles sabotuer Robert Denby in two episodes ("Smithereens" and "Buffalo Bill Rides Again") edited together. Both halves feature country-pop singer Jim Stafford playing trucker-turned-racer Buffalo Billy Joe Higgins with painful enthusiasm. Co-produced by Steven Bochco. Jim Stafford is really happy!
815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
(1966, Color, Universal) 1997-08-02 An American spy protects a scientist from Russian agents. Spaz chop!
816 Prince of Space
(Yusei oji)
(1956, B&W, 59 Manly TV, Japan) 1997-08-16 Extraterrestrial superhero Prince of Space defends Earth from evil aliens, led by the Phantom, dictator of Krankor. Catchphrases: Your weapons are useless against me!; I like it very much. Krankor's forced laugh: "Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!" MST3K Collection, Volume 7
817 The Horror of Party Beach
(1964, B&W, 20th Century Fox) 1997-09-06 A beach community is plagued by sea monsters created by radioactive waste dumped off the coast. Filmed around Stamford, Connecticut. A less-than-manly beach dance.
818 Devil Doll
(1963, Associated Film Distributors, US/England) 1997-10-04 A ventriloquist turns to hypnosis to transfer a person's soul into his dummy. Hugo takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
819 Invasion of the Neptune Men
(Uchu Kaisoku-sen)
(1961, B&W, Toei/TV, Japan) 1997-10-11 A costumed hero in a flying rocket-car saves Earth (Japan?) from robot aliens. Stars martial arts films star Sonny Chiba as Space Chief. Chubby little boy clucks like a chicken and falls down.
820 Space Mutiny
(1988, Color, AIP, South Africa) 1997-11-07 An apoplectic but hunky hero helps the commander (Cameron Mitchell) of a colony spaceship (that re-uses shots from the original Battlestar Galactica series) fight a mutiny led by the cackling security chief (John Phillip Law). The beefy hero screams into the camera before nonchalantly escaping. MST3K Collection, Volume 4
821 Time Chasers
(Tangents) (filmed summer 1990, released March 1994, Color, Edgewood Studios) 1997-11-22 An inventor goes through time with his pretty accomplice to stop a corporation from using his invention. Shot on a $150,000 budget by 20-year old director David Giancola in the Rutland, Vermont area. "Matt, it's time for you decide if you're gonna be one of my team players." MST3K Collection, Volume 5
822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
(1983, Color (Video), Starmaker Video) 1997-12-06 In an Orwellian future a corporate employee discovers forbidden films inside the computers. He projects himself into one of the films (a rendition of Casablanca), much to the dismay of the CEO and the computer itself. A shot-on-video PBS production starring Puerto Rican actor Raúl Juliá as both Aram Fingal and a virtual Rick Blaine. "Mom, 'm I nuts?" MST3K Collection, Volume 4
[edit] SEASON 9/Sci-Fi Channel 1997-98
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
901 The Projected Man
(1966, Color, Universal) 1998-03-14 1960s-era British sci-fi movie. A professor develops a teleporter, then teleports himself — with disastrous results. Lembach is staying!
902 The Phantom Planet
(1961, B&W, AIP) 1998-03-21 In the future, an astronaut crashes on an asteroid populated by Lilliputian aliens at war with another planet. He shrinks to their size and is imprisoned by them. "You know, Captain, every year of my life, I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful... " MST3K Collection, Volume 8
903 The Pumaman
(L'uomo puma)
(1980, Color, ADM Films, Italy) 1998-04-04 A man learns he was born with special powers and becomes the superhero Puma Man. He fights the villainous Dr. Kobras (Donald Pleasence), who uses an ancient mind-control mask in his attempts to rule the world. Puma Man is defenestrated.
904 Werewolf
(Arizona Werewolf)
(1996, Color, Tozart Publishing) 1998-04-18 After digging up strange bones, a man becomes a werewolf. Includes Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez in a minor role. Catchphrase: Wahr-wilf! "This is absolutely fascinating!" MST3K 20th Anniversary Edition
905 The Deadly Bees
(1967, Color, Amicus) 1998-05-09 British thriller. A pop singer goes on vacation to remote Seagull Island. Her surly host — and his eccentric neighbor — are both beekeepers. She becomes embroiled in their ongoing feud, and soon afterwards people start dying from bee attacks. Features Ron Wood in a brief appearance with his then-current band, The Birds "The dog's meat. Have you seen it?"
906 The Space Children
(1958, B&W, Paramount) 1998-06-13 (Short: Century 21 Calling) The children of rocket technicians come into contact with a mind-controlling blob. Together they sabotage a rocket launch. The short is a 1962 Bell Company production set at the Seattle's World's Fair, at which "futuristic" telephone innovations are discussed and demonstrated. Dead Professor.
907 Hobgoblins
(1987, Color, Rick Sloane Productions) 1998-06-27 Several teens pursue aliens that escaped from a movie studio vault. The aliens make people's dreams come true, then murder them. The hobgoblins ride on a motorized cart. MST3K Collection, Volume 8
908 The Touch of Satan
(1971, Color, Futurama/Dundee) 1998-07-11 A young man gets lost while driving, and becomes the guest of a young woman who turns out to be a witch. "This is where the fish lives." MST3K Collection, Volume 5
909 Gorgo
(1960, released 1961, MGM, England) 1998-07-18 A sea monster appears off the coast of Ireland and is captured by circus men. The monster's mother comes to its rescue; devastation ensues.
Leonard Maltin makes a guest appearance in this episode.
"Blow it out your..."
910 The Final Sacrifice
(Quest For the Lost City)
(1990, Flying Dutchman/AIP Home Video, Canada) 1998-07-25 A teen follows a map left for him by his long-lost father, runs afoul of a devil-worshiping cult, then teams up with a beer-guzzling drifter named "Zap Rowsdower". "Rowsdower..."
911 Devil Fish
(Shark rosso nell'oceano)
(1984, Color, Filmes Internationale-Nuovo, Italy) 1998-08-15 A group of Florida scientists discover a gigantic prehistoric shark. "It's right underneath us!" "I knowwwww!"
912 The Screaming Skull
(1958, B&W, AIP) 1998-08-29 (Short: Robot Rumpus) Newly married wife Jenni can't tell if the skull she sees in her new home is a ghostly apparition of her husband's dead first wife, or just hallucinations from her own nervous condition ... or something else. The short is a Gumby cartoon.
This episode was the last rerun ever shown, on January 31, 2004, more than four years after new shows ceased.
Hubby flings his stool.
913 Quest of the Delta Knights
(1993, Color, ?) 1998-09-26 A band of knights seeks to defeat a malevolent ruler by locating a trove of magical inventions. David Warner plays two characters, wise man Baydool and the evil Lord Vultare. Pearl replaces Mike for the first part of this episode. "I'm coming!"
[edit] SEASON 10/Sci-Fi Channel 1998-99
Ep. # Featured Film Original Airdate Synopsis Stinger DVD Availability
1001 Soultaker
(1990, Color, Pacific West Entertainment / Victory Pictures) 1999-04-11 Two teens are killed in a car wreck, then elude their Grim Reaper (Joe Estevez).
Joel Hodgson and Frank Conniff guest star in the host segments.
The soultaker, disguised as the heroine's mother, secretly watches the girl while she undresses.
1002 Girl in Gold Boots
(1968, released 1969, Color, Geneni Film Distributors) 1999-04-18 A girl from rural California goes to Los Angeles to work as a go-go dancer. There, she and her friends get involved with drug dealers. Catchphrase: I had a pretty miiiiiiind! "Oh God, I wish I had that pretty mind back!" MST3K Collection, Volume 3
1003 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
(1995, filmed 1984 & 1995, Color, ?) 1999-09-12 Using a series of flashbacks, a grandfather (Ernest Borgnine) tells contemporary stories featuring the legendary wizard Merlin. One story features a book of spells, the other an evil toy monkey. Much of the footage is taken from the director's earlier film, 1984's The Devil's Gift.
This was the last new episode ever shown; it was originally slated to be shown earlier in the season, but because of clearance issues for Sci-Fi Channel, it made its debut a month after Diabolik.
Kid singing "Rock and roll Martian..." MST3K Collection, Volume 5
1004 Future War
(1994, released 1997, Color, Cine Excel Entertainment / Silver Screen International) 1999-04-25 An alien race kidnaps Earthlings for use as slaves. One slave escapes to contemporary Los Angeles, where he is hunted by alien cyborgs using dinosaurs as trackers.
This was the most recently released film to be shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
The hero loses his shirt right before the final battle. MST3K 20th Anniversary Edition
1005 Blood Waters of Dr. Z
(Zaat)
(1972, released 1982, Color, Barton Films) 1999-05-02 A Florida scientist turns himself into a catfish monster and attacks those who wronged him. "Sargassum: the weed of deceit!"
1006 Boggy Creek II: And The Legend Continues
(The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II) (filmed 1983; released 1985; Color, Howco International Pictures) 1999-05-09 A professor and his students camp out in the rural Arkansas swamp, in hopes of finding a Bigfoot-like creature. "I saw the little creature." "Nooo!!" MST3K Collection, Volume 5
1007 Track of the Moon Beast
(1976, Color, Lizard Productions) 1999-06-13 A New Mexico anthropologist is struck in the head by a tiny meteor. When the moon becomes full, he becomes a mindless humanoid lizard monster. "Moon rocks? Oh, wow!"
1008 Final Justice
(1984, Color, Arista Films) 1999-06-20 A Texas sheriff (Joe Don Baker) winds up on Malta in pursuit of the criminal that killed his partner. "You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move."
1009 Hamlet
(Hamlet, Prinz von Dänemark)
(1961, B&W, German TV) 1999-06-27 A German television production of the Shakespeare play. Stars Maximilian Schell as Hamlet; Ricardo Montalban performed the voice of Claudius for this English-dubbed version. Claudius doing a double-take. MST3K Collection, Volume 4
1010 It Lives By Night
(The Bat People)
(1974, Color, AIP) 1999-07-18 A scientist who studies bats is bitten by, and then begins turning into, a bat. Bat guy says "Well?" then convulses.
1011 Horrors of Spider Island
(Ein Toter hing im Netz)
(1960, B&W, Rapid-Intercontinental) 1999-07-25 A manager and his all-girl dance troupe survive a plane crash, only to find themselves on an island infested with mutated spiders. The dancers scream as their plane plummets into the ocean. MST3K Collection, Volume 11
1012 Squirm
(1976, Color, AIP) 1999-08-01 (Short: A Case of Spring Fever) Electrically supercharged worms attack the residents of remote Fly Creek, Georgia. Catch Phrase: "Mr. Beardsley?" The short, a fan favorite, follows a hapless man whose wish — that springs didn't exist — is granted by a magical creature named Coily. Catch phrase: "No springs!" "You gonna be the worm face!"
1013 Diabolik
(Danger: Diabolik!)
(1968, Color, Paramount) 1999-08-08 The skilled thief Diabolik (John Phillip Law) performs daring heists, culminating in the theft of twenty tons of gold. A Dino De Laurentiis production.
The last official episode of the series, although Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders was first shown a month later.
"Is that Stud coming?"
[edit] Shorts, Volume 1
Short Title Movie Shown With Ep. # Original Airdate Synopsis
The Home Economics Story Viking Women vs. the Sea Serpent 317 1991-10-26 Iowa State University-produced short telling aspiring young women how to be better housewives.
Junior Rodeo Daredevils The Killer Shrews 407 1992-07-25 Young boys and Teddy Roosevelt put on their very own rodeo.
Body Care And Grooming The Painted Hills 510 1993-09-26 Teaching us all how to be clean
Cheating The Wild Wild World of Batwoman 515 1993-11-13 A go-getting young man's life goes to pot when he cheats on an exam.
A Date with Your Family Invasion U.S.A. 602 1994-07-23 Teaching us the proper way to eat with our families.
Why Study Industrial Arts? The Skydivers 609 1994-08-27 A young man learns that it's cool to be crafty.
The Chicken of Tomorrow The Brute Man 702 1996-02-10 The facts about the beautiful lives of chickens, before we eat them.
[edit] Shorts, Volume 2
Short Title Movie Shown With Ep. # Original Airdate Synopsis
Catching Trouble Teenage Cave Man 315 1991-11-09 An example of how being cruel to animals was once fun.
What to do on a Date Swamp Diamonds 503 1993-07-31 What to do........on a date.
Last Clear Chance Radar Secret Service 520 1993-12-18 The gruesome death of a teenager on railroad tracks, courtesy of Union Pacific.
A Day at the Fair Code Name: Diamond Head 608 1994-10-01 The joys and wonders of the local fair
Keeping Clean and Neat The Sinister Urge 613 1994-11-05 Yet another how to keep clean film.
The Days of our Years The Amazing Transparent Man 623 1995-03-18 Union Pacific gives us another depressing tale of hazards on the railways.
[edit] Shorts, Volume 3
Short Title Movie Shown With Ep. # Original Airdate Synopsis
Speech: Using Your Voice Earth vs. the Spider 313 1991-09-21 Think you know how to speak good? Well you're wrong!
Aquatic Wizards Teenage Cave Man 315 1991-11-09 Waiting for someone to drown as they do moronic stunts
Is This Love? Teen-age Strangler 514 1993-11-07 The oldest college student in the world tries to talk her roommate out of marrying too young.
Design for Dreaming 12 to the Moon 524 1994-02-05 This GM-produced film shows exactly how the future will look.
The Selling Wizard The Dead Talk Back 603 1994-07-30 This Anheuser-Busch film sells freezers and not, I repeat, not, beer.
Out of this World High School Big Shot 618 1994-12-10 This Du Pont-produced film teaches the finer points of marketing bread.
Once Upon A Honeymoon Night of the Blood Beast 701 1996-02-03 A songwriter can't go on his honeymoon until he writes a new song. Luckily, the angels are smiling upon him, and Alexander Graham Bell existed.
[edit] Mr. B's Lost Shorts
Short Title Movie Shown With Ep. # Original Airdate Synopsis
Mr. B Natural War of the Colossal Beast 319 1991-11-30 The most feminine man who ever lived teaches young Buzz the pleasures of being in the school band.
X Marks the Spot King Dinosaur 210 1990-12-22 A man is on trial for his life in the fast lane.
Hired! Part 1 Bride of the Monster 423 1993-01-23 A man starts selling Chevrolets and fails miserably.
Design for Dreaming 12 to the Moon 524 1994-02-05 This GM-produced film shows exactly how the future will look.
Johnny at the Fair The Rebel Set 419 1992-12-12 A boy gets lost at the fair and meets Joe Louis, Barbara Ann Scott and Olsen and Johnson.
Are You Ready for Marriage? Racket Girls 616 1994-11-26 Man, people sure got married young back then. Or did they?
[Source: Wikipedia]
